It’s hard to put into words the amount of character that Max had. He was the type of kid that could brighten up a room just by walking in. It never mattered what age you were, Max would be able to make you smile, and he had the ability to talk to anyone. Max cared for everyone, especially his teammates. His ability to talk to people made it easy for his teammates to look up to him as a leader on and off the ice. This goes to show just how important the Max Foundation is for spreading awareness about mental health. It is time to end the stigma of mental health, and show people that there are resources available to people who suffer from a disease that most of the time cannot be seen. Max was an incredible man, and through the Max Foundation his spirit will live forever.
ASK FOR HELP
Three simple words, yet so hard to do! I wish every day that Max would’ve asked me or anyone for help.
When I think of Max Marvin, my thoughts immediately go to a long, bow-legged, smiley young man with his hockey flow curling around his cap as he shouts out a heartfelt greeting of, “Hey Buffy!” On the outside, he looked like a young man with the world waiting for him to do great things. Little did we know that on the inside, he was struggling to navigate that very same world.
Something Max didn’t have trouble navigating was the Northwest Angle. His love of spending time with family and friends at their cabin and being in his boat guiding people to the fish was his passion. People would enter his boat as strangers, but leave as friends. He had such a way of making everyone from young to old feel welcome.
Max and I had gotten close over the last years through hunting and fishing together. Max has now taught me that mental health issues can affect anyone from any walk of life. Mental Health doesn’t discriminate! The Max Foundation will make a difference by providing essential resources and teach courage and bravery for all who are struggling with mental health to reach out. It is time for all of us to BE BRAVE and ASK FOR HELP!
Paul Hanowski
Hello everyone, my name is Paul Hanowski. I am honored to be able to
share with you a few stories about Max and the relationship we had.
I know it is cliché to say this but Max was like a second son to my
wife, Dana, and I. His sisters Lisa and Layla are considered extensions
of our family and I believe our three children think of them as
siblings.
I don’t think this relationship is unique to my family, however. Not only do the Marvin kids have their biological grandparents, Cal, Beth, Jack and Virgina, I know they also have Grandpa Frank, Grandpa Loren and Grandma Helen. That’s just the ones I know of.
I first met Max when he was around 6 years old. The one word I would use to describe my first impression of Max would be inquisitive. It is defined as:
- Given to examination or investigation
- Inclined to ask questions
- Curious
After about three hours of my first day fishing with Max and Izzy,
Izzy said Max, “Quit asking Paul so many questions, remember our rule,
you get two questions, choose them carefully.” That slowed Max down
that day but, over the years, it continued. I tried to be honest with Max
and many times, early in our relationship, I would simply respond “Max,
I don’t know.” Later, with cellphones and the internet I got to say
“Max, just Google it.” He taught me there’s a lot that I don’t know.
In the last couple years, Max found a higher source of education. He
would still ask me questions, but he had already done some research.
He’d ask, “Paul, what do you think of this, I talked to Nick Marvin and
he thinks we should do it this way” or “Paul, I talked to Nick and he
thinks we should be using this product.” Max went from junior high to
college after finding his new source of education.
I believe Max learned a great deal simply by asking questions or
listening to other people’s conversations. Sometimes this posed a
problem for Max at school, though. On a 6th grade social studies test,
Max used his outside sources of information to score some extra credit
points. That didn’t work out quite so well for Max. For the full story
I’ll defer to his family or maybe Dean Bethune.
As he matured, another word would be needed to describe Max. That
word would be respectful. On one particular fishing trip, I had guys
from Arkansas, West Virginia, Missouri, and Kentucky. These are places
where “yes sirs” and “no sirs” are a given. These individuals were
around Max a total of six days over two years. Every one of them were
overwhelmingly impressed with Max.
All of these guys, along with many other people I have introduced to
Max have reached out over the past few days asking me to express their
condolences to Izzy and the girls.
I know Izzy is finding it difficult to respond to messages left for
him. I hope someday that he’ll read them and appreciate the amount of
support he and his family have.
Max also had a gift of being able to relate to people of all ages.
Whether you were two or 92, you were in Max’s wheelhouse. I’ve seen him
with Lee Marvin’s son Charlie at about two, Casey Hendrickson at age
six. They gravitated towards Max like he was their big brother.
In the last few days I’ve heard numerous stories from other people
who had the same observation. Rube Byorkman said how Max would bring
him fish. Spencer Johnston, how many 18-year-olds could sit with you
and your wife for two hours trying to wiggle one last boat cover out of
you? Max could. This summer, I helped Max launch his boat the first
day of his professional guiding career. He was nervous. I told him
“Max, don’t be anybody but yourself and you’ll be fine.” From the
stories I’ve heard, he did just that and it worked out well.
In September, I had some friends coming to fish. I talked to Max and asked
- Max, how are the fish biting?
- What color is working best?
- How do I work this new bungee anchor?
- Why don’t you put your fish in your livewell?
Then I stopped, looked around for Izzy and for him to say “Paul, stop
asking Max so many questions. Remember the rule. You only get two
questions, choose them carefully.”
In closing, I would like to say that we may never understand this situation we find ourselves in today. Max made a decision that none of us here agree with. Hopefully we find it in our hearts to forgive this one decision and remember the great kid he was to each and every one of us.
Paul Salquist
Max will always be part of our family. My family met Max and the Marvin family through our youngest child and youth hockey. At that time none of of us knew how this infectious blond-haired, skinny kid would impact our family. Over the next 10 years of Max’s life, he became a part of our family. Max spent two summers living with us, becoming our son, Mason’s, best friend (or what they thought – stepbrothers! ) to this day we don’t know who was Brennan or who was Dale! Not only did Mason gain his best friend, but our other children gained a brother! And Tanya and I another child.
Madison Oelkers
My family has always been really close with the Marvin family. From the day we moved up there our families clicked, we became good friends and always hung out together. I saw Max, who was also in my class, every day and got to know him pretty well over the past six years. Max is like no other kid his age. There wasn’t a friendlier smile to be greeted with. No matter the age, Max was always there to make someone, if not everyone, smile. He was a class clown but also the kind of guy who’d help you out in any situation. Max was someone that always saw the light in every day. When I was struggling in high school he was always there to talk to about it. And, even in college, he would be the first to ask “How are you?”, and he would seriously mean it. I miss Max every day and constantly think of something that could’ve been said or done to change the past. Anyone who knew Max misses him deeply, and that is why the Max Foundation and bringing awareness of mental health to Warroad is so important. The Max Foundation is something so special, it will be a project that hits so close and makes such a positive influence for the kids in Warroad. Mental health affects a lot of people, and making sure it is talked about and awareness is brought to it will benefit the town and the people of Warroad tremendously.
Pogue’s
Mental health is uncomfortable to talk about for so many. It is for us, too. Every minute of every day, someone needs help. We never know how much help someone needs or why, however, we can all agree, that we need to make it okay to talk about mental health as a family, to co-workers, to your friends, and your neighbors, to name a few. With the help of the Max Foundation, we are all moving the needle in the right direction and helping remove the stigma that is associated with mental health.
Max was a great son, brother, cousin, friend, teammate and all-around great
young man. Max left us way too soon and with the help of the Max
Foundation, we can all honor Max by helping to create a legacy that he
would be very proud of by getting help to those who need it.
Tracy, Sandy, Katie & Ryan Pogue
Bemidji, MN
Cameron Skappel
Max was one of my closest friends throughout my later years of high school. I really got to know Max in the 10th grade, my first year of high school hockey. He was one of the “older kids” that the young kids moving up always feared. It didn’t take long for me to learn that he was not what we may think of the older kids. He was a genuinely kind, caring, passionate friend to everyone. Max was the kind of friend that I looked up to, he was always looking out for me and was always there for me whenever I needed him. There always seemed to be a page in his book that we could all use.
I remember after every practice we would hang out in the locker room for hours, showering and listening to music. We would go fishing, take a ride out to Grandpa Jack’s to listen to same stories we had heard 100 times before, but they always seemed to change. Or, we would just grab some coffee and drive around and find something to do. There was never a dull moment no matter what we did. Max always had that new song that he found that he has been dying to play for the rest of the boys and he always had that fishing picture from his latest adventure on Lake of the Woods he has been waiting for the perfect time to show off. Max was always a phone call away and ready to do anything no matter what it was. You need help loading something up, you’re going out fishing and need a buddy, need someone to go get some lunch with, you just call Max and he would be there as soon as he could, no matter what it was. I am very grateful to have had the chance to share endless memories with Max. They are the memories that I will value and cherish forever. He has truly touched and blessed my life in every way possible.
therinklive.com
September 11, 2019 Written by. Mick Hatten
www.therinklive.com/2019/09/11/max-foundation-seeks-to-help-kids-on-self-esteem-suicide-prevention/
Hendrickson’s
Max will always be one of the happiest and friendliest people we have had the pleasure of knowing. He is the last person we would have thought was struggling inside and our hearts hurt daily with missing him.
Max was a friend to everyone in our family; he treated our youngest son like a little brother and our two girls like little sisters. He and my husband were fishing buddies, best friends and spent hours talking about hunting, fishing and Ranger boats. Max’s true character came through when hunting and fishing. He was kind, patient and always wanted to make sure our kids had the best experiences when they were with him.
On a weekend in the summer of 2017, Max took our son and a friend to our cabin on Little Oak Island for the whole weekend. Mountain Dew’s, frozen pizzas and other snacks packed up, they set off for a “bachelors” weekend on the island. Even though the boys were younger than Max, I knew he would keep them safe. He was so thoughtful that, even though I hadn’t asked, he texted me throughout the weekend to ensure that we knew they were having fun and staying safe. They caught fish, swam and made memories that cannot be replicated.
In the fall, Max would take our girls deer hunting with him and seemed more excited to see them shoot the deer rather than shooting the deer himself. Three years ago he and our oldest daughter were hunting in a stand together. They both saw a doe come in and behind it was a large, 10-point buck. Instead of telling her “This one’s mine.”, Max whispered to her “Take him!”. He gave up a chance at a trophy buck so that my daughter could have that opportunity. He then proceeded to dress the deer and “guide” her home to show off the buck. He didn’t need the glory – he wanted her to have it.
The same was true when he went hunting with our middle daughter last fall. They were hunting together, but in different stands. She shot an 8 point buck. Again, Max helped her. He field dressed the deer for her and then helped her quarter it later than night. He always went the extra mile.
We could always count on Max for a good conversation, a friendly smile at the end of a dock and lighting up our family’s times together. Max was like another member of our family and we approach life differently because of him and our loss. He gave us memories that cannot ever be taken away and we are all so thankful for our time with Max. Like anyone else who knew him, we just wish we could have more.
What is your role on the Board?
I am committed to making a difference in as many kids lives as I can. We have a good advisory group that shares this same passion. Mental wellness is a serious issue and I am committed to bringing it the attention it needs and feel that I can do that by contributing time, energy and resources to the Max Foundation Advisory Board.
Why is the success of this foundation important to you?
Because of the need for mental wellness. If we are successful that means we’ve helped others. As Max’s father, this is so very real and personal. We need to make a difference so that another family doesn’t have to go through what Kallie, Lisa, Layla and I deal with every day.
What do you hope the Max Foundation can accomplish?
Mental health is a serious issue that is not well understood or accepted publicly. We need to understand and accept that fact. The foundation is committed to raising funds and investing those funds in a way that it will give today’s kids and their families the tools they need to handle mental health issues the right way.
What is your favorite memory/experience with Max?
Max was just so much fun to be around. He loved all of the things that I love. Hunting, fishing, hockey. The last family trip we took together was to the 2018 Stanley Cup final in Washington DC. It was great!
What are the highlights of your life personally
Being part of a successful business with Kallie, my wife.
Being part of championship athletic teams.
Coaching.
Fishing and hunting.
What is your role on the Board?
I hope to use my years of private business ownership, parenting, grandparenting and volunteerism to guide the Max Foundation. It is critical that we stay true to our mission and operate with unquestionable integrity and do all that we can to ensure that we are financially capable of making a difference now and for years to come.
Why is the success of this foundation important to you?
It is critically important to accept the fact that mental wellness is a critical issue especially in our teens and young adults. It is equally important to acknowledge that mental illness has a social stigma and that should not be. The next generation is our future and I am hopeful that we can give them the tools they need to live an enjoyable, positive and productive life.
What do you hope the Max Foundation can accomplish?
To do nothing about mental wellness is not an option. We will work hard to invest the money that we are entrusted with into events, projects and activities that will make a difference for today’s youth. I hope that we can bring knowledge and understanding to the importance of mental health issues and provide the youth and young adults with the tools that they need to live life to its fullest.
What is your favorite memory/experience with Max?
Max was only 19 years old but he touched people in a powerful way…..his quick smile, his firm handshake, his eye contact, unending questions and his enthusiasm…..hard to find anybody who did not like Max!!
What are the highlights of your life personally?
I have been blessed beyond reason:
Being raised in a loving, nurturing and caring family.
38 years of marriage to Mary, my wife.
4 wonderful children, who are now all adults.
8 incredible grandchildren.
Please give a brief summary of your professional/work experiences.
Work started at a young age with mowing lawns, being a minnow boy, guiding on Lake of the Woods for summer fishing. After a stint at college I came home and worked in the family business for 18 years. In 1997, Mary and I made a decision to pursue a different career and since that time have been self employed owning and operating several different businesses.
What is your role on the Board?
My role on the Board is to contribute what I can to make this foundation a successful one. Being able to talk about mental health issues and spread the word about the Max Foundation that we are here to help and want to help anyone we can. I hope myself and everyone involved with the Max Foundation can make an impact on others’ lives through our awareness and events and get people comfortable about reaching out for help.
Why is the success of this foundation important to you?
The success of this foundation is important to me because how crucial mental health is in everyone’s lives, and how important it is that we do what we can to end the stigma. The success is important to me because we have an opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives. It is important to me to honor my brother in a way that would make him proud.
What do you hope the Max Foundation can accomplish?
I hope that with the Max Foundation that we can touch many people’s lives in a positive way and be able to help them be able to overcome some of the hardest obstacles in life. I hope with the Max Foundation we can get people to reach out when they need help and help them live the best life that they can.
What is your favorite memory/experience with Max?
I don’t think I can pinpoint one memory or experience with Max because we had a lot of them. My favorite thing about him was just how he made me feel when I was with him. He was my go to when I was sad and he always seemed to brighten my day when I was around him. One thing I think of often is the smile on his face when we’d be driving in his boat up at the Angle with the music on and there didn’t seem to be a worry in the world. Those were my favorite days with Max.
What are the highlights of your life personally?
The highlights of my life are my family and friends. The amazing people in my life that make me laugh and also stand by me through my hardest days. I am very thankful for the care and support I receive from them on a daily basis. Without my unbelievable family and friends the things I enjoy in life wouldn’t be as much fun.
Please give a brief summary of your professional/work experiences.
I grew up in Warroad and played hockey for the Warroad high school team. I graduated in 2013 and went to college at the University of North Dakota where I continued playing hockey and received a communications major and a leadership minor. I am now living back in Warroad and work for my parents at The Patch Motel and Izzy’s Lounge and Grill.
What is your role on the Board?
Why is the success of this foundation important to you?
There is no question that mental wellness is something that needs to be talked about and we had no idea it was going to affect our family the way that it has. We created the Max Foundation because we want to help others and encourage conversations about mental wellness. Our foundation is possible because of who Max was and how he treated people. It is important to me to continue to make Max proud and keep his spirit alive by helping others.
What do you hope the Max Foundation can accomplish?
My hope for the Max Foundation is that we are able to educate kids and let them know that there are other options. I feel so so sad that Max felt he only had one option and I wish more than anything that we would have had the chance to help him. So, going forward, I am hopeful that we can impact kids and families in positive ways and encourage them to have conversations and ask for help.
What is your favorite memory/experience with Max?
Max and I spent a lot of time in the boat together fishing and those are my favorite days with him. One day in particular we were at the cabin and he woke Dad and me up at 5:00AM to go muskie fishing. Three casts in I caught my first muskie and Max netted it. He was so excited for me and that is what was so special about Max – he was genuinely excited for others. Everyday I think about having just one more day in the boat with Maxie.
What are the highlights of your life personally?
I’m not sure I could say just one thing but what I do know is that I am very grateful to have a close family. I am lucky to be Max and Lisa’s sister and have such supportive parents. If you would have asked me this question before we lost Max I would have probably told you winning state with my high school team or winning gold with my U18 team. Looking back, my highlights are the times I was able to spend with Max and the times all five of us got to be together. I will forever cherish our memories together.
Please give a brief summary of your professional/work experiences.
- Warroad High School
- Went to school and played hockey at UND
- Patch Motel, Izzy’s Lounge & Grill
- Coach of the Warrior girls hockey team
What is your role on the Board?
I think that I can help the board make good financial decisions and keep focus on our mission.
Why is the success of this foundation important to you?
Mental wellness affects one in five and doesn’t discriminate. Kids are our future. If we can be successful in helping kids, our world will be a better place going forward
What do you hope the Max Foundation can accomplish?
It is my hope that the Max Foundation can educate as many people as possible about mental wellness. We’re going to be small and focused as we get going but as long as we are having success and the funds are there we will continue to help.
What is your favorite memory/experience with Max?
August 2nd, 2018. Max took a few buddies and me fishing. It was the same stuff we’d been doing for years without Max but him being a part of it added an element that made it so much more special. Fishing was good but the stories and fun were great. He ended up spending the entire day with us – including muskie fishing in the evening. Even though he was 15 years younger he fit in perfectly.
What are the highlights of your life personally?
Growing up and attending school in Warroad – hunting, fishing, playing hockey. Attending St Johns for 4 years. Playing hockey and making some great friends there. I lived and worked in Fargo/Moorhead for two years and made more great friends there.
Married Kendra, my beautiful wife, in 2008. We have four great kids – Callen, Adley, Conway, and Nohl.
Please give a brief summary of your professional/work experiences.
Have always been in the retail/outdoor/sports business. After school I worked for Gander Mountain and Scheels. We now have four businesses headquartered in Warroad. Streiff Sporting Goods, Hosted Hunts, North Country Convenience, and T-Shirt Barrel.
What is your role on the Board?
I am hopeful that I can bring a healthcare and community perspective to the Board. My experience coordinating wellness efforts in the community will fit nicely with the mission of the MAX Foundation.
Why is the success of this foundation important to you?
Mental wellness is a huge component of overall wellness and is a passion of mine both personally and professionally. LifeCare Medical Center has identified mental health as a top community health need in our last two Community Health Needs Assessments. Our administration and hospital board have made a commitment to addressing this need and would like to support the Max Foundation in their efforts to help make this happen.
What do you hope the Max Foundation can accomplish?
I hope we can work together with other organizations, groups, and communities to help reduce/eliminate the stigma that comes with talking about mental health. I hope we can equip our communities with the tools and resources needed to support the mental wellbeing of their people.
What is your favorite memory/experience with Max?
Unfortunately, I did not have the opportunity to know Max on a personal level.
What are the highlights of your life personally?
I moved back to this area with my husband, Todd, and our 3 children in 2006. Moving closer to our extended family and raising our children in this community has been a highlight for me. My older two children, Adam & Ellie, currently attend the University of Minnesota and my youngest, Lauren, is a sophomore at Roseau High School.
Please give a brief summary of your professional/work experiences.
Graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing. Have worked various nursing jobs throughout my 26+ year career but most recently have been working as one of the Wellness Coordinators at LifeCare Medical Center.
What is your role on the Board?
The title I have on the Max Marvin Foundation board is Treasurer, but I will also be donating my time and resources to help wherever it is needed.
Why is the success of this foundation important to you?
To me this foundation represents the concentrated effort of people with ideas, means, and motivation to make a difference in the lives of not just kids or one community, but an entire region. Suicide and depression have either directly or indirectly affected almost everyone. They are difficult concepts, and the more we can do to normalize open conversation and get more minds working together on help and prevention, the better off everyone will be.
What do you hope the Max Foundation can accomplish?
My hope is that the Max Foundation can find the right people with the right expertise to donate resources to, and that the result will be communities with the tools to prevent suicide and support those struggling with their mental health. Whether that’s with in-school programs, therapists, community projects, or access to mental health training for whoever wants it. The Max Foundation is working in the right direction and I’m proud to be part of it.
What is your favorite memory/experience with Max?
Max had a way of fitting in wherever he was – even with a team of girls a few years older than him. When I was on the Warroad Girls JV Hockey team, Max would join us for practices, and they were always better when he was there. Max would show us the stick handling tricks he was practicing and chat with anyone nearby. The kid never got winded. I specifically remember when he was telling us he was going to get bigger shoulder pads and start checking soon – he was so excited and proud that he was moving up to that level in hockey. We were all happy for him even though it didn’t affect us at all, he was just contagious like that.
What are the highlights of your life personally?
I am thankful for my husband, my dog, my family and my home. I might not be the kind of lucky person that wins at scratchers or raffles, but I was born blessed with people who love me and a good life.
Please give a brief summary of your professional/work experiences
I skipped around and ended up back where I started. In high school and into college I worked as a teller at Security State Bank of Warroad. After graduating college with a degree in management I went to work at my husband’s family’s resort for a few years. After deciding that the resort business was not for me, I was offered a job back at Security State Bank and with Security State Insurance. I have happily been with those businesses since.